Goodbyes are never easy
- mmchapter
- Aug 4
- 4 min read
Saying goodbye is always hard, especially when it's time for your loved one (pet or human) to cross the rainbow bridge. Saying goodbye as we walk out the door, knowing we will be
back, is easy; we say it without thinking, knowing that we will see our loved ones shortly. Saying the last goodbye is hard for a million reasons.
As I write this, we are preparing to say our goodbyes to Jasper, our multi-million dollar cat. He has made such an impression on so many people in so many ways. He has his own
following at the vet's office, among our friends and family—and he did that without even trying. What about him made people love him that much? The super chill vibes, the easygoing attitude, the love for everyone that he had.
One of the hardest decisions a pet owner will make is deciding when it's time to help our fur kid cross the rainbow bridge. This is for so many reasons. The big one for us is that they can't tell us how they are feeling—are they feeling better with the treatments, are they done fighting, do they feel it's their time to leave? As the humans with the decision-making power, we have to decide and judge for ourselves. You will see the changes in your pet, and that should help determine how close to the end of life they are. For us, Jasper's eyes said, "I'm full of life and not ready to give up." His body, however, was telling us otherwise. He was down to 4 lbs, all skin and bones with no real interest in eating. He was having trouble walking—very unsteady on his feet. He had small bouts of energy, usually after a bite or two of food.
Ultimately, the liver mass being cancerous was the demise of his existence. Sadly, his health
deck of cards was stacked against him. If we were looking at just a mass on the liver, we could have looked further into treating it—whether by removal, chemo/radiation, etc. However, we were advised of two major things. 1 - Being a diabetic, his age of 15, pancreatitis, and his previous time with a feeding tube, there was a good chance that putting him through something so major as this would truly be the end and not in a comfortable way. 2 - Financially, it would be beyond expensive. Yes, I absolutely, hands down, would have paid to have him longer in my life. But - looking at $10,000 just to treat the cancer/mass, followed by another $10 or $20 thousand in recovery care/meds—not to mention our time. Combine those two factors, and it was looking more like torture for all involved.
How did we spend Jasper's last days? Giving him the world and then some. I probably spent about $200 on food, lickable treats, hydration packs, and the like. Why? Because those were his favorite things. A true treat for someone on a very strict diet. He also was allowed free roam of the entire house - his favorite thing. While he loved his private room, he did like to see what else was going on. Lots of cuddles, pets, and kisses for sure. We set him up to watch TV - birds on the laptop, he spent most of his time hanging in Gene's office. While he had the birds on, he tried to catch them and watched very intently. The other 10 cats would come check him out during his last week, but ultimately let him be in peace.
On his last day with us, Gene and I both took the afternoon off. We set up the movie projector on the wall so he could watch birds and squirrels on the big TV. He also got one final nap in with me, a true comfort for both of us, uninterrupted by anyone else. His final ride in the car was done in style, in his favorite bed on Gene's lap, just chilling like we were headed to say hi to all his favorite people at the vet's office. We carried him in like that, said our final goodbyes, kissed him, and told him to find his girl Pita and friends Rollie & Peppermint.
A big part of our hearts has left us, his paw prints forever in our house and hearts. We are slowly adjusting to a life where he is watching over us. As we struggle with having the master bathroom minus a resident cat, his 10 siblings are duking it out over who gets his spot in the pecking order. Guaranteed we will cry when asked how we are doing - because the reality is, saying goodbye is hard - the final one you are never prepared for, no matter how much you think you are ready.
Hug your pets, treat them like the royalty we all know they are. Don't have pets? Go visit some shelter pets and give them the love they deserve! Sure, go hug your favorite humans
too. They also deserve some love.
Til our tails cross again,
Mel
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