Paws on blogging

I missed quite a few blog post Mondays in the last few months. Was there a good reason?

Sort of—I’ll call it life happens. Jasper getting the cancer diagnosis, losing him to cancer, work, house-sitting, finalizing vacation, working on special orders, and more cats entering my life—time for writing a blog came to a sudden & grinding halt. To say I was feeling burnt out would be a drastic understatement; it wasn’t even burnout from just one piece of my life. All angles of my life had me feeling totally burnt out and just needing a full-on break from everything, everyone, and all that is important to me. Each day would bring a new level of crankiness, short-temperedness, and a short fuse that would make me blow up over the simplest and least important things. Never a good place to be for anyone. A vacation was just what I needed, and one that was a full week of unplanned days. So I could truly take each day as nature handed it to me.

I mentioned Jasper's cancer - there are a few blog posts already posted about that - and boy, do we still miss him. We have not fully finished mourning him. I have picked up his ashes - he's at home hanging with Peppermint, Rollie, and Pita - adding to the pressure of making a memorial wall in the house for the pets. Send me your pics and ideas for a cool way to memorialize all of our pets as they pass.

I like keeping my posts short (a quick 4 or 5-minute read), so some things to look for:

*kittens available for adoption and how that came about

*pregnant momma cat and an unknown number of babies

*surviving a vacation that my husband planned and knowing each day has no plan

*anything else the universe throws my way as I'm getting back on track with writing.

For thebetter part of 2 weeks (in my major burnout) I kept thinking about the week away from home and compilied a loose list of what I'd like to accomplish. On that list were about 4 things, some of them being absolutely not important other than in the self-care department, but nonetheless - on the list.

To date, I have done three of those things and am working on the fourth as I write this (with a feeling that there was a fifth item that has totally escaped me and now won't happen!). What did I do? Painted my fingers and toes—yep, totally a self-care thing—and something I truly never do at home. I used to go monthly for a pedicure, but expenses cut that out. So I did that yesterday and love that I have color on my nails again. Finished a book—sounds simple—but when you are so tired you can't even hold the book open, it's impossible to read. A cloudy day at the beach made finishing a book possible. Finished a craft project I started and listed it on my website. This was probably the easiest to do! Last on my list—you guessed it—writing some blog posts. So here I am, writing away and hoping that I have enough topics to get me set for a few Blog Post Mondays.

I beg of you (with the soft urges of our cats too) to share my blog site with all your friends and family, shop my merchandise section, and lastly—help keep writer's block at bay—send me things you'd like to read about!

Till our tails cross again,

Melanie

#purrfectdozen #blogger #blogpost #burnout #cats #crazycatlady #lovecatsandeverything #vacation

Days after the goodbye

Here we are, a week after we have said our final goodbye to Jasper. He has crossed the rainbow bridge and joined his girlfriend Pita and siblings Rollie and Peppermint. How are we, the humans, surviving? That is a truly loaded question. Read on to see how our life is going without Jasper.

There is a big empty hole everywhere. In our hearts, in our house, in our daily task list, in our cat lineup, and in the bathroom supervisor. I don't think I can even begin to process all the ways we miss him or how we will even move on. We are both irritable, cranky, moody, defeated, on the verge of tears constantly, and feeling like we failed on some level. Is there anything that can be said to make us feel less like that? Nope.

As for me, I've been booked solid with house sitting and drop-in visits as well as my usual work schedule at the chiropractor and dress shop. That means I've had very little time to dwell on the empty spot and my broken heart. Have I felt completely maxed out on being able to handle life? Absolutely. I decided to tackle the next few days/weeks by handling it one minute, one hour, one day, one task at a time, thus keeping my mind busy. Yes, one day, probably very soon, this will backfire on me.

While working on listing merchandise and scheduling Facebook posts for the groups I run, I had to go through my photos. There are so many of him from all stages of his life with us. I will cherish those pictures forever. As I scroll thru pictures, I cry for every hard road turn we had, every good memory we had, and for the emptyness in the coming years.

As for Gene, he's working as usual, studying and playing video games. The video games are his downtime and how he unwinds and relaxes. Gene, always a sturdy rock by my side, is struggling with the loss of Jasper as well. He was the medicine man—daily doses of insulin, probiotics, and wet food. Every day started with a few minutes hanging with Jasper, plus a few minutes after dinner. While it isn't much time per day, it's a task that has been ingrained in him for the last two and a half years. Each morning is hard, not having to take the time to give meds. Each visit to the bathroom is different now. Missing having a cat watch us do our bathroom routines is a constant reminder of Jasper. Now the emptiness of not having a cat always there for all your private bathroom visits it tugs at our hearts each visit to the bathroom.

Gene told me that he can't take in any more pets, which is not surprising on some level; he's always the one saying no more pets. He told me that it hurts too much with the loss of pets. Meanwhile, as I'm hurting and saying I can't go through the pain of losing another pet, I'm ready to take in more, as there are always strays that need homes. I'm sure in time, when this is farther in the rearview mirror, Gene will be more ready to take in another pet.

Fortunately for both of us, we balance each other out. We won't be taking in any new pets in the near future. We will continue to mourn the loss of Jasper and cherish the siblings he left behind. To date, the other cats are settling into life with access to the bathroom where he resided. Normally, there is a fight to establish the new pecking order, but we won't have to deal with that process as he operated as a standalone cat. We decided to keep his set up of litter, cat tower, bed, food & water dishes. So now all the cats spend time in there as they feel the need.

The days and weeks after the final goodbye have been hard and will continue to be hard. We all mourn differently. How do you get through the mourning of losing a loved one? I'd love to hear how you ease the pain, get back to life, and still honor your loved one.

Til our tails cross again,

Mel

#purrfectdozen #lovecatsandeverything #mourning #catlife #feline #life #catlover #petlover #memorial #heartache #heartbreak #goodbye

Goodbyes are never easy

The chillness he always had - that won over everyone.

Saying goodbye is always hard, especially when it's time for your loved one (pet or human) to cross the rainbow bridge. Saying goodbye as we walk out the door, knowing we will be

back, is easy; we say it without thinking, knowing that we will see our loved ones shortly. Saying the last goodbye is hard for a million reasons.

Various stages of his Purrfect Life

As I write this, we are preparing to say our goodbyes to Jasper, our multi-million dollar cat. He has made such an impression on so many people in so many ways. He has his own

following at the vet's office, among our friends and family—and he did that without even trying. What about him made people love him that much? The super chill vibes, the easygoing attitude, the love for everyone that he had.

One of the hardest decisions a pet owner will make is deciding when it's time to help our fur kid cross the rainbow bridge. This is for so many reasons. The big one for us is that they can't tell us how they are feeling—are they feeling better with the treatments, are they done fighting, do they feel it's their time to leave? As the humans with the decision-making power, we have to decide and judge for ourselves. You will see the changes in your pet, and that should help determine how close to the end of life they are. For us, Jasper's eyes said, "I'm full of life and not ready to give up." His body, however, was telling us otherwise. He was down to 4 lbs, all skin and bones with no real interest in eating. He was having trouble walking—very unsteady on his feet. He had small bouts of energy, usually after a bite or two of food.

Ultimately, the liver mass being cancerous was the demise of his existence. Sadly, his health

deck of cards was stacked against him. If we were looking at just a mass on the liver, we could have looked further into treating it—whether by removal, chemo/radiation, etc. However, we were advised of two major things. 1 - Being a diabetic, his age of 15, pancreatitis, and his previous time with a feeding tube, there was a good chance that putting him through something so major as this would truly be the end and not in a comfortable way. 2 - Financially, it would be beyond expensive. Yes, I absolutely, hands down, would have paid to have him longer in my life. But - looking at $10,000 just to treat the cancer/mass, followed by another $10 or $20 thousand in recovery care/meds—not to mention our time. Combine those two factors, and it was looking more like torture for all involved.

Love from his second fur mom

How did we spend Jasper's last days? Giving him the world and then some. I probably spent about $200 on food, lickable treats, hydration packs, and the like. Why? Because those were his favorite things. A true treat for someone on a very strict diet. He also was allowed free roam of the entire house - his favorite thing. While he loved his private room, he did like to see what else was going on. Lots of cuddles, pets, and kisses for sure. We set him up to watch TV - birds on the laptop, he spent most of his time hanging in Gene's office. While he had the birds on, he tried to catch them and watched very intently. The other 10 cats would come check him out during his last week, but ultimately let him be in peace.

On his last day with us, Gene and I both took the afternoon off. We set up the movie projector on the wall so he could watch birds and squirrels on the big TV. He also got one final nap in with me, a true comfort for both of us, uninterrupted by anyone else. His final ride in the car was done in style, in his favorite bed on Gene's lap, just chilling like we were headed to say hi to all his favorite people at the vet's office. We carried him in like that, said our final goodbyes, kissed him, and told him to find his girl Pita and friends Rollie & Peppermint.

The start of our feeding tube journey 5 years ago.

A big part of our hearts has left us, his paw prints forever in our house and hearts. We are slowly adjusting to a life where he is watching over us. As we struggle with having the master bathroom minus a resident cat, his 10 siblings are duking it out over who gets his spot in the pecking order. Guaranteed we will cry when asked how we are doing - because the reality is, saying goodbye is hard - the final one you are never prepared for, no matter how much you think you are ready.

Hug your pets, treat them like the royalty we all know they are. Don't have pets? Go visit some shelter pets and give them the love they deserve! Sure, go hug your favorite humans

too. They also deserve some love.

The wonderful husband who supports me and the #purfectdozen. He's my human.

Til our tails cross again,

Mel

#purrfectdozen #Jasper #catblog #cats #cancer #livercancer #catcancer #felinefriend #cattribe #blogger #lovecats #catlife